What causes premature ejaculation? That is the question for today. Today I’m going to share with you ten causes of premature ejaculation.
Note* – This article is based on real-life experience. So, this is written as a person is telling the story. It will help you understand better.
If you are somebody who’s actively struggling with this right now I want to tell you that it is 100% possible for you to cure your premature ejaculation and have sex for as long as you want, last as long as you want in bed, and to have an amazing sex life without worrying about cumming too soon.
That is absolutely possible for you, I can tell you that from first-hand experience. I used to struggle a lot with premature ejaculation. I used to be the guy that would cum in a minute or less.
So I had to do a lot of work to really understand this topic and to deprogram and reprogram my sexual response system with new habits that would help me have the sex life that I have today.
If you pay attention to these ten causes of premature ejaculation, you can reverse engineer them and start to shift your sex life right now, today. All right, let’s get into it.
#01. Causes Of Premature Ejaculation – Poor Masturbation Habits
The very first cause of premature ejaculation is poor masturbation habits.
So what does that mean? If you think about masturbation as a training ground for the rest of your sexual experiences, then the things that you do while you masturbate they really matter.
So if you are masturbating for one or two or three or four minutes before you ejaculate, then you’re training your sexual response system to go for one or two or three or four minutes. If you never masturbate for longer than that, how is your system going to know that there’s another reality that’s possible?
So if you are masturbating for only a couple of minutes at a time before you ejaculate. I recommend switching that and going for a longer time. Go for 10 minutes, go for 20 minutes, and then ejaculate. See what that does, and see how that impacts your sex life. I guarantee you it’ll make a difference.
#02. Causes Of Premature Ejaculation – Tension
That’s right, tension causes ejaculation. The tension in your pelvic region, the tension in your lower belly, a buildup of tension in general. Think about the last time you ejaculated. What was your body doing right before that happened?
You probably started to tense up, and you probably started to breathe more shallowly too right? It was like a,(tense breathing) like that kind of a thing, maybe shoulders might have squeezed up.
That tension actually begins in your body way earlier. It builds up throughout your sexual experience, and so a key to staying away from ejaculation is reducing tension in your body while you are having sex.
Try to breathe deeply. Take deep breaths while you’re making love. And intentionally try to let your body be chill while you have sex. That’s going to have a huge impact.
Then try to translate that to your masturbation practice. Try to be relaxed while you masturbate too. Don’t like try to get it done, you know, relax, and enjoy it.
#03 – Too Many Kegels.
So, all over the internet right, now you will find articles and videos saying that if you want to get over premature ejaculation, do a bunch of Kegels every day. And that’s going to strengthen your pelvic floor, and then you’re going to be able to just hold in your ejaculation, and it’s going to be great.
This doesn’t really work that way. It’s possible that if you do Kegels all the time you’re going to hurt yourself. And that’s one of the reasons why there are a bunch of guys out there who’ve been doing Kegels for a month or two months or three months, and they still suffer from premature ejaculation.
Why? When is the last time you did 50 squats every day for a month? Without giving yourself time to rest or relax or massage that area, even?
See what happens is a lot of guys who do Kegels all the time, put their pelvic floor into this state of hypertension, and then when they’re having sex that tension in their pelvic area leads them towards ejaculation.
You can do Kegels, just make sure that you give yourself rest days. Make sure that you just don’t hardcore every single day. Otherwise, that part of your body is just going to go into hypertension, and it is going to push you towards ejaculation.
#04. Causes Of Premature Ejaculation – Bad Porn Habits
Moving right along to the fourth cause of premature ejaculation, and that is bad porn habits.
So, notice that I didn’t say pornography. I said bad porn habits. Because porn isn’t inherently bad, it’s how we interact with it, and it’s how we use it in our life that impacts us.
So, what do I mean by a bad porn habit? Let’s talk about the prevalence of cum shots in porn first. So if you watch porn, you’ll know that a lot of it is designed just to be a lead up to the cum shot, the cum shot is this big finale piece, right? It’s the, everything happens to get to this point.
There’s even a bunch of cum shot compilation videos out there. Where you can see guys cumming over and over and over again, on women’s faces, on their bodies, on their asses, or wherever.
And each time you watch something that focuses on the cum shot it is creating a link in your brain between that cum shot and pleasure. Especially, if you’re masturbating while you’re watching that, it’s associating cum shots with pleasure.
This is going to impact you in the sexual experience. It’s just impossible for our brains not to work that way. So that would be one way you can start to shift the impact porn has on you.
Watch things that don’t emphasize the cum shot. Watch things that emphasize more the connection of the people in the video itself, and the actual human interaction there.
On that note, another thing that porn does to us is a lot of porn focuses on little close-up sections of bodies interacting with bodies, right?
Like a cock going in and out of somebody, or two women’s mouths on a cock, or just these parts. That can make us focus more on the parts of our bodies and other people. So, when we have sex, we focus less on the connection and less on our whole body experience. That brings me to the next point.
The #05 Cause of Premature Ejaculation Is – Hyper-Focus on The Sensations of your Cock.
So, porn contributes to this too. And yes, it does feel good, to have a person going down on you or to be fucking somebody, and that does feel good on your cock.
If you hyper-focus on that and don’t focus as much on the sensations and the rest of your body, or the sensations of touching your partner, or your interaction between them, then you are going to push yourself towards ejaculation more quickly than you want to.
So don’t hyper-focus on your cock in sex. Pay attention to everything else that’s going on around you, pay attention to the other sensations in your body. Breathe deeply, and see what happens.
The #06 Cause Of Premature Ejaculation Is – You See Ejaculation As Pleasure
The sixth cause of premature ejaculation is linked to the first part of what I talked about in porn, and that is associating ejaculation with pleasure.
So if we take the typically known ejaculation scale, it goes from zero not being aroused to 100 ejaculations. And 95 on that scale is the point of no return.
A lot of us, and I used to think this way. A lot of us guys think that pleasure starts around the 85, 90 percentile, right?
So that’s pretty close to the point of no return. A lot of us will rush to get to that point of pleasure while we masturbate. This trains our system that way, and we’ll rush to that point of pleasure in sex because that’s where we experience pleasure.
So, to shift this we need to begin to experience pleasure in more of the 25 to 75% range of that scale. That means like when you’re not close to cumming, pay attention to yourself, and focus on the pleasure you’re experiencing in your body.
Pay attention to the sexual pleasure you’re feeling. Not just in your cock. Pay attention to your entire system, and that is going to increase your awareness of pleasure as a spectrum and not just ejaculation. It’s going to help you to last longer in bed.
#07. Mental Resolve
The seventh cause of premature ejaculation is that you have not yet developed the mental resolve to not ejaculate too soon.
Never underestimate the power of your mind in this scenario. I’m at this place in my life where usually I can have sex for as long as I want and, this is really awesome.
And I tried an experiment last fall, I wanted to see just how quickly I could cum, just to see the power of my mind.
I went into sex with my partner at the time and, I came within like 15 seconds, you know? And that was proof to me, okay. Our mind really does have a major impact on whether we ejaculate quickly or not.
So, decide for yourself that you are going to last longer and make that commitment to yourself, and use your mind to solidify that in your body.
The #08 Cause of Premature Ejaculation Is – Mental Tension.
Mental tension can mean a bunch of different things. What I’m going to talking about specifically is that, if you are concerned about ejaculating too soon, and you start to get stressed out about that while you’re having sex, that is going to impact your sexual interaction. The hyper-focus on not ejaculating is going to lead you towards ejaculating.
So the trick is to this one is to relax. Chill out, breathe deeply. Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter as much as you think that it matters. It’s not actually as big of a deal to that many women as you might think.
#09. Fear of Deep Intimacy
The ninth cause of premature ejaculation is going to take some thought on your part, which is a fear of intimacy. Yeah. Think about this one.
So, if you are somebody who, who gets afraid, or gets uncomfortable with deep connection, deep presence with somebody else, if holding eye contact with somebody for longer than 10 seconds makes you squirm, then it’s possible in the sexual scenario that when you get to that point of deeper intimacy with somebody, you ejaculate to avoid that deeper intimacy. You ejaculate to avoid going into that space with this person. And I used to do this. I know this really well.
A bunch of years ago I had a girlfriend who was madly in love with me, and I wanted to be able to love, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t open myself to that, I couldn’t open my heart to her.
When a number of times that sort of like deeper presence would start to show up in the sexual experience I would get uncomfortable and I wouldn’t want to go there so I would ejaculate, it would be the easy way out.
And then, I could be chilled out, I could have my release, I could go eat some food, I could do whatever, and I didn’t have to go to that point of deep connection.
So, this one is a bit of a head fuck, but I invite you to do some introspection around it, and if it lands for you maybe do some journaling.
Maybe, go talk to somebody, talk to a friend or talk to a therapist or, or connect with some other guys and talk to them about their experiences with ejaculation. Because a lot more people struggle with this than you might think. So that’s reason number nine.
#10. Causes Of Premature Ejaculation – It’s Not Even a Problem
The 10th cause of premature ejaculation that I’m going to talk about today is that it might be fake. It might be a fake cause.
So, what do I mean by that? I mean that there might be something else going on in your life and your relationship and premature ejaculation is the scapegoat for that thing and you’ve possibly created this or fallen into premature ejaculation as a way to avoid this other thing.
Maybe you’re not actually happy in your relationship. Maybe you would rather be single or maybe you’d rather be with somebody else, but you just don’t know how to get there, or you don’t know how to talk about it, or you don’t know how to make that transition in your life.
And so instead of really dealing with what’s going on for you, you might just have premature ejaculation and not have to deal with anything and when you do that over and over again, when you have premature ejaculation over and over again, it impacts us, right?
It impacts you, it impacts our psyche, our mind, and our body. It can keep you in that state of passivity, so you don’t have to take any action. You don’t feel that pressure to shift your life in any way.
To Sum Up
So, those are ten possible causes of premature ejaculation, and there are others out there too. I’d love to know what you think about these, so leave a comment below this article if there are any that you resonate with.
If there are any other causes that you would say contribute to premature ejaculation definitely, put that in the comment as well.
That’s it for this article. Thank You.